Starting Over(Yes Again)!

This is the Blog that I never wanted to write. As a matter of fact I said I would never be one of those contestant from The Biggest Loser that would have to say "I gained it all back". Well I hate to say this but "I have gained it all back", yes people every pound and then some. It took a little over a year and every time I would weigh myself I would feel like another day was being add to my sorrowful life sentence of obesity. I feel like I got a pardon and then the governor took it back. I have had a very ruff  past two years since I did The Biggest Loser, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer again, my dad left my mom after he found out she had cancer,  my personal life has been a soap opera to say the least and I took a year off from singing, yes a whole year. I remember when the weight started coming back on it was right after finale, cause that's when the drama started happening in my life. By the time the new year started I had gained 10lbs and it was down hill from there. I remember going back into my hole, my shell as the weight came rushing back on. The more weight I would gain the more I would retreat, until I found myself doing nothing and going nowhere. I was ashamed, scared, and most of all I really did feel like the biggest loser, how funny is that! I started reaching out for help and I didn't get any at all. Then I started reverting back to my old habit diet habit, like the Monday diet and everything that I read about and it just got worse. So i did what I felt like I had to do I just gave up,  I was tired of fighting the battle of bulge. I felt defeated and so for months I just cried and stayed in my bed. But one day last week I judge a 40 and Fabulous contest for a calendar and everyone of those women had there shit together if you know what I mean. They inspired me to do better. So I decided to give it one more try, one more time to fight for my own life. I've decided that this time I wasn't doing it for the music industry, or for my husband and kids, or to look good in that little black dress (although that would be nice), I was doing it for me so I could live this one life God gave me to the fullest, to live fearlessly. So today I have decided to share my journey with all of you once more, but this time I am going to share all of it with you. So here goes nothing! I have gained 98lbs since finale and I have a 160lbs to lose. I am going to share every week with all of you! I love you all and I need you all. So until next time!!!!!